Information and healing for male abuse victims.
Help for men in relationships with abusive women.
Information and healing for male abuse victims.
Memes4Men by Shrink4Men
Dr. Tara Palmatier, PsyD
I began Shrink4Men on January 12, 2009 to provide help for men in relationships with abusive women. Male abuse victims receive less support than female abuse victims. Society and mental health are reluctant to admit that men comprise approximately 50% of abuse victims. Even worse, many men who seek help are ridiculed, shamed and/or not believed.
I earned a PsyD in Clinical Psychology and an MSc in Counseling Psychology and have over 30 years of experience. Over the last three decades, I have been providing counseling to diverse populations in a variety of settings. My doctoral dissertation, Ce ci n’est pas une these: An applied psychoanalysis of Rene Magritte, was completed and successfully defended in 2004. It examines unresolved childhood bereavement, the effects of a mentally ill mother and creative outcomes in an adult artist. I still have a keen interest in psychology and the arts. Additionally, I view my work with my clients as a complex form of grief counseling.
My Philosophy
- Abuse is unacceptable from either sex. Yet, the media and mental health refuse to acknowledge the high prevalence of abusive women and male abuse victims.
- Help for men who are experiencing female perpetrated abuse should be as much of a priority as female victims.
- Abuse is unacceptable even when the perpetrator has a personality disorder or other mental illness.
- Tolerating abuse from your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband doesn’t make you a good person. Remaining in the relationship and/or not taking steps to end the abuse once you recognize it as such means you’re enabling your own abuse.
- Ending a relationship in which you’re actively being emotionally and/or physically abused doesn’t make you a bad or selfish person. Even if you have children. Adults leave other adults. It’s not abandonment. And you’re still a parent to the children whether there are two households or one.
- Double standards and inequities in relationships are unhealthy and unacceptable. You shouldn’t have to “take it” or shoulder the entire financial burden because you’re a man.
- Both partners’ needs and feelings are of equal importance. Ideally, both partners come first in a relationship and are willing to compromise.
- Healthy relationships are a source of mutual comfort and support, not a series of endless pointless conflict, no-win situations, hoop jumping and double standards.